Also none of my roommates are home and I went to sleep at 10:30 and woke up two hours later and now I feel like that part in 30 Rock when Tracy Jordan is in his basement alone yelling “FAMILY, WHO’S IN CHARGE OF MY THIRST?”
The list of things I have done this week includes “purchased over $30 of take-out that I have thrown away” and “got sent home from work for crying.”
I often think that at the center of me is a voice that at last did split, a...– Lorrie Moore, Who Will Run the Frog Hospital?
The best thing about my day is that none of the nine boys from various Ohio pop punk bands who stayed at my house last night stole my computer. The worst thing is probably everything else.
And were they still like that, she wondered — these new girls, this new...– Zadie Smith (On Beauty)
cassiesteele: If someone sets you on a pedestal, you’re destined to fall. How many times do you have to say- I’m not all that in a bag of potato chips? Well, I’m not all that in a bag of potato chips. I’m a less nice version of everyone else, and I probably make a lot more mistakes. K. We need to talk about how Manny Sanchez has a tumblr and how she thinks a popular idiom is “all that...
things to do
-start eating dinner before drinking so when you find yourself on your second beer you aren’t also finding yourself wasted -stop sleeping on the couch in all your clothes while Kelly watches reruns of Malcolm in the Middle
I was just on the phone with McQuaid, whom I haven’t really talked to since he moved to Missouri to work on a Senate campaign, and when I asked him how it was going he said, “Well, the guy we’re running against is an idiot, today he said this terrible thing about women and rape…” and that’s how I realized that he’s working for Claire McCaskill and she is...
things i think are funnier than drinking wine out...
maybe the “pop punk the vote” shirt I wore all day today and part of yesterday otherwise nothing
Billy could feel himself as a spoiled, greedy, ungrateful little boy. The louder...– Michael Cunningham, Flesh and Blood On my to-do list: stop relating to fictional five-year-old boys.
In May, you try to use your credit card at the gas station and when it asks you...– I finally got around to reading these three pieces by Rob Roberge for The Rumpus and the last few days have been real weird and crying in the Copley library is just what I’m going to do on Fridays from now on I think.
also here is an article about one of my students... →
I tried to read Sloane Crosley’s book I Was Told There Would Be Cake once and I didn’t get very far because the first three pages weren’t funny and I get mad when I think about how there are people who get paid to write books about their early adulthoods and those people aren’t me so I really can’t say what it’s about or if it has any merit but I can tell you...
An enormous rat with some kind of horrifying back wound just popped out of my neighbor’s trash to say happy birthday and AHHHH.
my favorite part of today
was when Kelly said, “I couldn’t believe it when I saw you this morning. I thought for sure you were going to call out of work.” You know, because I drank a hundred beers and then a bottle of Prosecco. If I have learned anything in the past year, and realistically it has been only one thing, it is how to drink to excess and get up at 6:45 and shower and teach teenagers about...
That haircut basically means I now feel about Miley Cyrus the way pedophiles felt about Miley Cyrus in 2008.
I hate when cupcake recipes assume I have a standing mixer with a paddle attachment it’s like CHECK YR PRIVILEGE DUDE
The bar where I work has a new dress code and last night the bouncers wouldn’t let in a bunch of people who were dressed for the “golf pros and tennis hoes” party they had apparently been at. Picture twelve assholes dressed in khaki shorts and Polo baseball caps yelling at huge Southie guys in ties. One of the women yelled, “My life is worth ten times what yours is!”...