July 2011
HEY HEY HEY HEY HEY HEY HEY HEY HEY HEY I GOT A...
LIKE A REAL JOB
RELATED TO MY MAJOR
AND IT’S ONLY PART-TIME BUT THAT’S OKAY BECAUSE I’M NOT A REAL HUMAN BEING ANYWAY
BUT THERE IS ~ROOM TO ADVANCE~
AND UH
I’M GOING TO BE WORKING WITH PREGNANT AND PARENTING TEENAGERS
AND I AM REALLY EXCITED
BECAUSE HURRAY
Newport here we come!
teganandsara:
We’re in New York! We’re getting ready for our Newport Folk Festival debut this week. Feeling pretty excited to be heading to Rhode Island for the FIRST time ever! Even our mom is excited so we brought her along! You can’t see our bathing suits in this photo but we already have them on in preparation for the Atlantic! We’ve rehearsed with some lovely fellows from New York who...
how to get your roommate's dog to take his...
“Come on, Nemo! Let’s go to the kitchen! We’re gonna eat cheese! And morphine!”
my father, re: homosexual tendencies
While lecturing me on my credit: “You have to make sure you pay your loans on time, because you need to have good credit. You need to have good credit, because it’s just you. I don’t mean to be a male chauvinist, but it’s just going to be you. Do you get what I’m saying?” (I’m honestly baffled by the word “chauvinist” and unsure how my credit...
Fucking House Hunters, man
labombaefil4elohssa:
Couple walks into a 2500 sq-foot colonial on a ton of land in Raleigh, house is listed at $315k and the first thing they say is “the entry way is cramped.”
After house hunting and buying in the DC area, I can tell you for sure I’d buy that house in Raleigh sight unseen. I’d pay the seller’s closing costs. The dealer would say, “We have three choices. The first one is XYZ,”...
2 tags
cleaning my room for the first time in a month.
Found a check for $100. AWESOME, I choose to assume this is going to happen every time I clean my room for the rest of my life.
(It’s going towards Newport Folk. Train tickets, food, merch. Which, by the way, is in three days. Sup Sara Quin, how’s it going, let’s hang out.)
2 tags
“He breaks up with the teenager and gets with Diane Keaton, and you’re...”
– Last night I got a little drunk and, while renting The Pacific and The Simpsons, ranted to the Video Underground employees about Woody Allen. Also, the bartender at the Behan gave me dating advice. JP4LIFE.
"did you see how i kept bringing up you were gay?...
Sometimes you need the opposite of a wingman, just in case. My friends are the best.
today in gchat: online dating
A: also, after reading like, 100 profiles, i’m realizing that no one is unique, some are just better looking A: example: literally everyone says “love the daily show, politics in general, have kind of a dry sarcastic wit about things. love the beatles, some new stuff but mostly older.” A: then in the section: what 6 things could you not live without A: they go: “air, water,...
“This isn’t even an insulting category because angry feminists know they’re...”
– The Different Types of Feminists There Are
This is so laughably bad. Has this person ever met a feminist who hates people who wear heels and laugh a lot? Do these people exist? Or is she just really bad at reading and interpreting human emotional cues?
I’m so confused by every single part of...
1 tag
“She’s a lively little one, isn’t she?”
– Last Wednesday, my roommate and I spent two hours getting drunk in the bar at the end of our block, and when I got up to pee, the bartender said the above to Sonrisa about me. It is easily my favorite thing anyone has said about me in the past two months, and maybe in the past decade.
1 tag
This morning I woke up at eleven because I was out until four, sitting on a friend’s couch and listening to “I Got You Babe” and not drinking Brooklyn Summer Ale because I’m trying to be more of a grown-up and I have to assume that means not drinking beer seven nights a week. On Sunday mornings I go to City Feed because something about the families and the coffee make me...
2 tags
things that happened at work last night, in a...
new version of OpenTable that I didn’t know how to use
entire layout of restaurant had changed overnight
manager had hired my high school boyfriend to work as a host
hosts were required to wear tuxedos
under the tuxedo, my high school boyfriend was wearing a shirt with a penguin saying “I wish I could fly” under it, and he didn’t make any penguin/tuxedo jokes, he just...
“I’m gonna leave your skinny butt here and let someone snatch you up.”
– Examples of good parenting I saw on the T today. Read it in a Boston accent for extra fun!
i split my toe open last night, or rather, my toe...
I’m going to spare you the photo, because feet are gross (the blood is not gross, feet are gross), but let me add that the encore was “Your Own Disaster” followed by “Great Romances of the 20th Century” followed by “There’s No I in Team,” so I can die happy. I have a lot of feelings about this show and they are complicated and will probably be the...
things my mother says to me when i call her in the...
“I wish I was there with you, so I could give you a Valium before work.”
Watchnigeldevillers:
Original song, Louisiana.
I posted the lyrics maybe two weeks ago? So they’re there if you want them. Let me know what you think!
YOU GUYS
LOOK AT MY LITTLE BROTHER
LOOK AT HIM LOOK LOOK
This is really fucking good and if it weren’t I would just… pretend I hadn’t seen it (which I actually hadn’t until a moment ago) but it is and you should probably...
3 tags
The Awl: Generation FNL →
And this is basically what “Friday Night Lights” talks to us about, how time moves so strangely, how we go from late nights drinking beer and messing around in a deserted field with our friends, our problems seemingly so huge, to late nights drinking wine with a partner, the very hair on our heads weary, our problems seemingly so huge. The thing that the show did so beautifully was...
1 tag
also, if i can't get anyone to work for me, i'm...
So for the sake of my roommates, let’s hope that someone wants an extra shift.
2 tags
desperately trying to get someone to cover my...
My adult life is getting in the way of my life as a fourteen-year-old and I am not happy about it.
what your women's college is like, according to...
This is my favorite game. My Wellesley grad roommate told me she thought Mount Holyoke girls were like, into fantasy gaming and anime. My reaction: “No, we’re not like that! Although, actually, I just wrote my thesis on fanfiction. But like academically.” I told her I thought Wellesley girls were preppy and straight. Apparently, half true.
I don’t know what my Simmons...
